Psychotherapist. Coach. Consultant.

Stop telling the same old story.

“Man, do I have one for you!”


Nothing is more scintillating than a great story, a great piece of gossip, or even a tall tale.  We love to hear a great story.  We can’t wait to find out the end of a story when the book is engrossing, and the the characters speak to us.  When a movie, book, or play has a great storyline, it grabs us and holds us by the throat-we can’t move.  The story is just that good. We get exhilarated and tantalized by a story of love and murder.  There is little in life more satisfying than a juicy tale.


Not only are stories told to us – we also tell  stories.  We tell stories of our lives. We tell them to ourselves and others on a daily basis. “Oh, I will never get that job” or “I’m not that smart” or “She certainly doesn’t want someone like me.” We tell ourselves these stories to keep us in our place and not move us too far out of our comfort zone. “People like us never get the big money” and “We aren’t lucky enough to get that” – these are the stories that have been told to us and the ones that we repeat, over and over again.


Stories like these keep us stuck.  We stay in bad relationships, dreadful jobs, and even pretty unbearable circumstance. The stories that we tell ourselves are, “things can’t, won’t, don’t change, not for me,”  “This is my lot in life,”  “I’ve made my bed.” Some folks just hide their stories being too ashamed to share them with others.  Others are just stuck in the vortex of negativity and deceit and can’t pull themselves out of the storyline.


We don’t always choose our stories, but we do choose how we tell them. Each of us has our share of heartbreak, obstacles, and setbacks.  Some more than others, but we all have them. They can all appear different depending on the storyteller. We can’t always choose the storyline, but we can choose how we view it and tell it.


Change your the story that you tell yourself and you can change your life.


Here are a few tips:


  1. Begin to look closely at the way you talk. – Are you negative or positive?  Do you sound like someone that you would want to spend time with?  Ask others about how you sound to them.


  1.  Keep a journal – Write about your life, your day, your week.  What do you complain about?  What can you change?  Be honest.


  1. Write your eulogy–  Yes, what will people say about you when you’re gone?  What have you done?  How have you contributed to the world?  


Make your life a great story, if you do, it can only have a happy ending.


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